


gone

by ariabones



Series: everything's so heavy [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Gen, Hurt, Kidnapping, Loki POV, Secrets, Thor POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:15:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28193826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariabones/pseuds/ariabones
Summary: It all made sense.Of course he could never fit in, he never belonged in the first place.
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Series: everything's so heavy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2065557
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

Loki violently closed his bedroom’s door. The slam was loud, its sound reaching his family’s ears downstairs.

_ No. Not his family. _

Loki had been repeating the statement for the past five minutes to himself since he discovered that all the rumours, all the jibes, all the harsh words from kids in his class, in his school- were all right. They were all right.

His family wasn’t his.

He was adopted.

And suddenly it all made sense. Everything- his father’s indifferent treatment towards him, how he always seemed to favour Thor, why his classmates treated him horribly, how Thor’s friends seemed to never accept him, how the men and women in his father’s circle seemed to look past him as though he was nothing. 

He was Jotun.

Not only was it bad enough that his biological family had wanted nothing to do with him, they just  _ had _ to be from Jotunheim- the country that seemed to constantly be at war with Asgard.

“They’re monsters. All of them.”

“I’m glad we won the war, taught those Jotun bastards a lesson.”

“Norns strike them dead.”

All those words he’d heard - _ and participated in _ \- over the years, they’d all referred to him. He was one of them.

Loki clutched at his head, a dull throbbing beginning at his temples. “No, no, please no,” he begged under his breath. His back was to the door. He sat down, leaning against it. A heat enveloped his eyes and he fought back tears. They’d lied to him for fifteen years.  _ Fifteen years _ . He couldn’t catch his breath, it escaped him in bursts, an painful feeling clutching at his chest.

“Loki.” a pause. “Honey, please open the door.”

His mother-  _ No! Frigga. She’s not your mother.  _ Loki closed his eyes tighter. The thought hurt, because as much as Odin not being his father didn’t hurt him, the fact that Frigga wasn’t his mother felt like a knife being driven into his heart.

And Thor…

“Loki please open the door.” Her voice was frantic, begging. Loki hated causing his mother panic but at the moment he hated her- her and her lies, even more.

“You lied to me.”

There was a sudden silence outside the door.

“You are our son Loki,” her voice was soft, pleading for him to understand, “and we are your family. Your father-”

“HE’S NOT MY FATHER!”

He hated that he was shouting, he never shouted at his mother.

“And am I not your mother?” 

The knife dug deeper. “You’re not.” He hated how his voice broke when he spoke. “I thought it was all in my head,” he felt tears well in his eyes, “The fact that I could never seem to do anything right in his eyes. But as it turns out,” his voice was wet, “I don’t belong here.”

“Loki,” she said, the fact that she too was crying, evident in how that single word wobbled.

“Leave.”

He didn’t need to say it twice. She left.

He shut his eyes and listened to his mother’s hesitant steps as she walked away. Loki’s mother had always known when she needed to push and when she needed to give him space. She knew him better than anyone and the fact that he isn’t hers…

Loki shut his eyes. 

One minute. One minute of weakness then he would get up. He needed to get away. Just until he got his bearings, then he would come back and confront his parents. He had a right to the whole truth but at the moment, all he needed was to see Sigyn.

It was normal for Loki to disappear, sometimes for three days before he reappeared with a smile on his face, whatever troubling him having passed. The first time he’d disappeared, he was ten. He’d sent the whole house in a panic, the police being brought in to investigate a missing child only for him to arrive a day later, confused at all the chaos he found.

“I just wanted some time alone.”

He’d ended up grounded for a month. As a result, the brothers got trackers installed in their phones - _ they’re always on their phones _ , Odin reassured his wife- and whenever Loki needed to leave, he had to tell his mother where he was going and for how long. 

Standing up, he moved to his window, slipped out and climbed down the tree next to his room. He left his phone, he did not want them to find him, not for the next three days at least.

He made his way across the backyard towards the back gate.

“Loki?”

Loki stopped and closed his eyes. Of all the people, he was the last person he wanted to see at the moment.

“Brother? Where are you going?”

That word. That stupid word. 

Loki turned, eyes stone cold. “I am not your brother,” he gritted out the words. “And where I’m going is none of your concern.”

Thor stood there, frozen. Shock spread across his face before turning into confusion.

“What do you me-”

Loki laughed derisively. “While you’ve been out with those idiots you call friends, I just had my life turned upside down. I have been informed that I am in fact, adopted.”

Thor ignored the jibe at his friends which was a first in his case. “What do you mean you’re adopted?”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Are you so lacking in intellect that you don’t know what that word means? It means,  _ brother _ -” his tone was mocking and from the hurt that etched Thor’s face, it did its purpose. “-that we are not related. My biological family thought me worthless and tossed me aside to be picked up by yours.”

Thor took a step closer to him but Loki stepped back. “Don’t,” he warned.

Thor swallowed. “Loki. That doesn’t matter to me. It takes more than blood to make a family. You’re still my brother.”

“Really? Would you still consider me your brother knowing that I’m actually from Jotunheim?”

Thor’s eyes widened and he stood there gaping, having no words.

And that hurt.

_ Of course he doesn’t have anything to say. His plan is to follow his father’s career and fight in the supposedly upcoming war. The war against people like you. _

The knife that had pierced his heart earlier now twisted, driving itself deeper, causing so much pain that Loki nearly doubled over. He turned away and walked towards the gate, fighting back the heat behind his eyes.

Thor realising his silence had lasted too long, reached out trying to grab his little brother’s arm but Loki roughly pulled away.

“Wait!”

Loki didn’t.

Sigyn’s house wasn’t that far. It was a forty-minute walk that gave Loki plenty of time to think. He realised he couldn’t go to Sigyn’s house. Despite being his closest friend, he was scared to tell her of his origins. The hate between the two countries stemmed from a lifetime feud that had been lasting since the Second War- the war that Odin won and made him a national hero, the war that took Sigyn’s father away from her.

Loki stopped on the road. He looked up at the dreary sky. The tears that he had been valiantly fighting off made their traitorous exit, streaming down his face.

He had no one to turn to. No family, no friends.

He wanted to sink to the floor and disappear. Everything hurt. Odin always mocked Loki’s sensitivity to his emotions and as the tide threatened to sweep him away, Loki hated his weakness.

So invested was he in his self-loathing, he never noticed the tinted van stop behind him.

Everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

When Thor’s little brother came home for the first time, he wasn’t exactly thrilled.

He’d been the only child for two years. He’d had both of his parents undivided attention, not to mention unlimited number of toys. Then  _ he _ arrived. Thor avoided his new brother for two days, throwing tantrums every waking moment until he got the scolding of a lifetime from his parents. He sat in time-out for ten minutes before his mother forced him to meet his sibling.

The crib was in his parents’ room. A small bundle slept peacefully wrapped in a green blanket, a tuft of black hair peeking above. His mother carried him, lifting him up to see. Thor watched silently.

Then he moved.

Thor gasped and turned to his mother.

Frigga smiled at him. “Your new brother Thor.”

A small wail drew their attention and they both turned to see a tiny fist escape the blanket confine and wave in the air. The baby wailed louder and Thor found himself lowered to the ground. His mother reached her arms into the crib and lifted the baby out. Grabbing her skirt, Thor followed his mother to the chair in the room. She sat down, rocking the baby slowly till his cries went silent. “Do you want to see him?” his mother asked. Thor nodded, his previous grievances forgotten. Frigga lowered the blanket and Thor got his first look at his brother.

“Baby small?”

His mother laughed.

“Yes. The baby’s small. He’s one week old.”

Thor lifted his hand to poke at him, only for a hand to wrap itself around his finger. Green eyes met his before closing again but the tight grip remained.

Thor turned to his mother and smiled.

* * *

“Loki!” Thor laughed as he chased his three year old brother across the front yard.

Loki turned, only to see his big brother catching up with him. He squealed and tried to run harder. He only ran for five seconds before falling down.

Loki started crying.

Thor dropped the plastic hammer in his hand and ran towards his brother. He dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around him.

“It’s okay Loki, it’s okay.” Loki’s cries quieted down and only his bottom lip remained trembling. “It hurts Tor,” Loki’s voice wobbled. Thor pressed a big kiss to his forehead and tightened his arms around him. “It’s okay Loki, I’ll protect you.”

* * *

Thor’s earliest memory of his brother was Loki waking him up in the middle of the night.

There was a thunderstorm that night but it didn’t bother him, Thor loved storms. The weather was a comfort to the seven year old. The smell of rain, the loud thunder and bright lightning all created a harmony that Thor found himself singing to.

“Thor?”

Groaning, Thor sat up in bed and rubbed his tired eyes. He blinked, trying to clear his vision and saw Loki seated at the edge of his bed, holding his toy snake, his slight frame shivering. Thunder roared, shaking the windows and Loki jumped.

Thor smiled.

“Scared of a little thunder?”

It was too dark to see his face clearly but Thor was sure his little brother was glaring at him.

“No.” His tone was hard and forceful, a contrast to the slight tremors raking his body. 

Thor felt his smile wane off. He didn’t like seeing his little brother scared. It was his job as his big brother to make sure Loki always felt safe. Which is why he lifted the corner of the blanket in invitation.

“Come here.”

Loki pretended to look annoyed. “I’m not scared.” His sag of relief disputed that but Thor knew not to mention it. Loki settled in bed next to him and Thor made sure he was properly covered before getting comfortable himself.

The windows shook once more and Loki flinched. Thor reached out and grabbed his hand, entwining their fingers. “I’ll protect you.” 

* * *

Thor didn’t understand why his friends and his brother could never get along. It was especially tense between Loki and Sif. Thor tried everything but they just couldn’t finish a conversation without a fight breaking out.

“He’s a kid!” Sif growled.

Loki rolled his eyes. “Yet you’re the one acting childish.”

Sif’s face turned a bright red and Thor had to act quickly before things got out of hand.

“He didn’t mean that, did you Loki?” twelve-year old Thor said.

Loki scowled and turned away. “It doesn’t matter, I’m not coming with you.”

Thor frowned. He always spent time with his brother when he went out. It didn’t feel right leaving him behind.

“But Loki-”

“Just go!” Loki snapped. He crossed his arms. “I’ll just read my book.”

“Nerd,” Hogun said under his breath but it was loud enough for everyone to hear.

Thor expected his brother to start debating- again- about why reading is important but he simply turned and started walking towards the house.

A funny feeling settled in Thor’s chest as he watched his brother walk away, his shoulders tense but when Fandral grabbed his hand and pulled him away, his worries were pushed to the back of his mind.

* * *

Thor rubbed his aching arm. Practice was rough that day and he was sure he’d have the bruises to prove it.

“Good practice,” Steve slapped his arm.

Thor winced. “Thanks. My arm hurts though.”

Steve frowned. “I thought I told you not to overexert yourself on the field.”

Thor rolled his eyes. “I’m fine, nothing a pack of ice won’t fix. I need to go. I’ve kept Loki waiting long enough.”

Steve snorted. “Yeah, you’d better hurry or you’ll find your car bedazzled and covered with glitter.”

Thor groaned. “Why can’t everyone forget that prank?” He rubbed his forehead in irritation though a smile peeked through. He started walking towards the changing rooms, the rest of the team had already left, just Steve and himself remained.

“Well, Tony made it his personal mission to remind everyone of that day on the monthly anniversary, so.”

  
  


Thor changed, waved his friend goodbye and went to get his brother from the library, only he wasn’t there.

“Sorry hon, Loki never showed up today,” the librarian informed him.

Thor thanked her and left, grabbing his phone from his back to call his brother. He’d turned his phone off during practice and when he turned it on, he found several messages and missed calls.

**𝔏𝔬𝔨𝔦🐍** **; 3:20pm**

_ Thor, where are you? You said you’d drive me home early today _ .

“Shit,” Thor cursed. He’d completely forgotten.

**𝔏𝔬𝔨𝔦🐍** :  **3:30pm**

_ Your phone is off and my messages aren’t going through. You forgot didn’t you?  _

**𝔏𝔬𝔨𝔦🐍** :  **3:45pm**

_ I'm taking a bus home. _

**♛ 𝓠𝓾𝓮𝓮𝓷 ♛** **: 5:07pm**

_ Thor, you need to come home right now. _

Thor cursed more. His mother would skin him alive for letting Loki take a bus home alone. Nevermind the fact that Loki was fifteen and very capable of taking care of himself- Loki always said when confronting their mother and her helicopter parenting- their mother was very strict about the drive from home to school. Something about the period it takes to get between the two places and the fact that they were high profile targets, Thor wasn’t really paying attention at that time.

Thor drove what was probably a bit higher than the speed limit but he reached home in forty five minutes.

He parked the car. The engine had barely turned off when he sprinted towards the front door. Thor stopped when he had a twig snap followed by his brother’s cursing. He diverted his route and left to search the side of the house, where Loki’s room faced.

There he saw Loki quickly walking across the backyard.

“Loki?” he called out, jogging towards him.

His brother stopped. “Brother? Where are you going?”

Needless to say, Thor was shocked when his brother turned, his eyes red-rimmed yet full of so much anger and gritted out through clenched teeth, “I am not your brother. And where I’m going is none of your concern.”

Thor couldn’t move. Loki could be mean sometimes, his words cutting and hurtful but Thor had never felt as pained as he did that moment, so hurt.

_ Not his brother? _

“What do you me-”

Loki laughed. The tone was mocking. “While you’ve been out with those idiots you call friends, I just had my life turned upside down. I have been informed that I am in fact, adopted.”

A slight pause as Thor digested the information. Loki, adopted? He’d never considered it. It made sense though, why their mother didn’t have photos of her pregnant with Loki.

“What do you mean adopted?” Thor couldn't help but ask. His mind was elsewhere, putting pieces that had seemed unrelated together to form a picture that finally made sense.

Loki rolled his eyes. “Are you so lacking in intellect that you don’t know what that word means? It means, brother-” Thor couldn’t fight back the wince at Loki’s tone, “that we are not related. My biological family thought me worthless and tossed me aside to be picked up by yours.”

The self-loathing in Loki’s voice made Thor take a step towards him but he was warned away. “Don’t”

Thor swallowed the lump in his throat. Loki was on edge at the moment and if he said the wrong thing, it would make things worse.

“Loki. That doesn’t matter to me. It takes more than blood to make a family. You’re still my brother.”

It was the truth. Thor didn’t care that he was adopted, he still loved him, nothing else mattered.

“Really? Would you still consider me your brother knowing that I’m actually from Jotunheim?”

Oh.

Thor’s eyes widened and he gaped at his brother.

His mind flashed back to all the games of ‘Kill the Jotun’ where Loki always played the Jotun. He remembered how they’d make fun of them, how the adults would call them all types of slurs- with children present. The hatred between Jotunheim and Asgard. He recalled how one of his friends, a transfer from Midgard- Bruce, had talked of prejudice and hatred solving nothing between the two countries and how Thor had quickly shut him down, calling them monsters.

Loki had been standing next to him.

Thor wanted to throw up.

_ No. No. No. No _

Thor blinked back to the present when he saw Loki turn and walk away. No, he’d messed up. He grabbed his elbow but Loki roughly pulled away.

“Wait!”

Thor wanted to tell him it didn’t matter that he was from Jotunheim, he still loved him. He made to follow him but a voice called him back.

“Thor, wait. Give your brother some time,” his father said.

Odin stood behind him, guiltily watching his youngest walk away.

“But dad-”

Odin shook his head. “You know how he likes to disappear from time to time when he needs space. Give him some time. He’s probably heading to see Sigyn.”

Thor wiped at the tears in his eyes, glancing once more at Loki’s retreating figure before nodding.

He had much to say and he would tell Loki all of it when he returned.

He never did.

* * *

Thor turned from his mother to glance once more at the small baby holding his finger.

“Thor?”

He turned his smiling face back to his mother.

“Loki is your baby brother. He’s going to look up to you. Will you always look after him?”

Thor giggling, nodded his head and turned to face Loki, his eyes opened once more and looking at him.

Thor placed a kiss on the baby’s hand.

“I pwotect you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I tried to keep the column design but nope, didn't work.

**Beloved General- Odin Borson’s Son Declared Missing**

On Wednesday 7 th September at around 6:00pm, Loki Odinson; the second son of war hero Odin Borson left home. The family believed he had gone to see a friend but when he did not return later in the night, they contacted all their family friends who claimed to have not seen the fifteen-year old.

The youngest Odinson has been known to disappear from time to time but when his usual fourty-eight hours had passed, they contacted the police.

It has been a week and the head detective in charge has made no statement on the investigation but alerts have been sent across the country and the surrounding areas.

Loki Odinson was last seen wearing black jeans, a green shirt and a black coat with green sneakers. If you have any information, please contact the Asgard Police Department through the contact information provided.

Our hearts and prayers are with the family.

**Loki Odinson**

**A.P.D Contact Information**

read more:

http://www.asgardpost.com/category/crime


End file.
